The more time has passed, the farther down the road we travel, others have begun to follow. Many of them are dear to me. Parents have buried their children, Men have buried their wives. Those of us who walk the same road, we understand, we remember. For the ones who have lost, time stopped. For those around them, life continues. For the ones who hurt, confusion sets in as they watch time pass in front of them, but feel like they stand still. The ones who hurt....they don't know what they need. The ones who watch, wonder how they can help.
My cousin recently lost his young and vibrant wife and mother of three. In an instant life changed forever. She entered glory and left behind those who must struggle to survive. Desperately wishing I could change the past or even fast forward into the future, even I wondered how I could help him. Was I crazy? I have been there myself. I tried to remember what helped us. Being lost in each moment, I listened to all the offers of help...."just call", they said. My memory bank was full, how would I know who to call? "What do you need?" "How can I help?" I don't know what I need, I don't know how you could help me. I realized that I didn't even know what I needed. Some days I would pray ( and still do ). I would tell God...."I don't know what I need today, but I don't feel right, I know I need something. Could you please supply what I need, since I don't know what to ask for?" Some days I was in dire need of help but was too "paralyzed" in my pain to be able to seek help. I needed God to seek it for me...and others to listen to His small voice prompting them.
There were days that I never even prayed, but God sent someone or something at just the right time. I didn't always willingly accept it, but soon realized that it was indeed what I needed. If God knows what I need, and he supplies all of my needs, then He will let others know how to help me. God wants to use me and my needs to bring others to HIM! I encouraged others to pray. Not only to pray, but to really listen. Hear what God wants from you, and DO it. Don't just do it, but do it for God! Don't expect anything in return....not even affirmation, or thanks, or a response of any kind. It is about God! NOT you! I encouraged my cousin to tell others to pray and listen and respond.
As I read a blog today of a friend who started on this ugly road of grief only in July, she so beautifully and perfectly painted in words the very thing I am writing about. I desire to share her words, so as to help others to understand the hurting, to give them grace, forgiveness, and help, the kind of help that comes from being the hands and feet of our father. These are her words...slightly altered to protect her privacy...
right now...we don't have much to give to each other...let alone to anyone else...So we apologize for not meeting your expectationsand for holding too high expectationsfor you...We can't see past our emotions,We can't see past our great lossWe are blindgroping the wallsseeking light
lifethe way outreaching and begging and pleadingfor helpfor salvation....from this lot.But God thought us worthy of this lotso we bear it.mind you...we may not bear it silently as Jesus did....we may bear it....
completely recklesslyand inappropriatelywhile screaming,laughing,crying,while silent,pious or angry,thrashing against it all....or numbing our way through it allbut we will bear itwe have no choiceGod is faithful to do what He says He will doregardless of how we feel
or how we actor what we believeor what we doubt....but it sure doesn't helpwhen we don't seeor feelor hear....God.It feels very very lonelyIt is very very lonelyIt feels like rejectionlike punishmentlike the wilderness...Sometimes we get a glimmer of God,when He sends someone...when He calls out to them...and they answer Him with a"Yes, Lord- I am willing."
He has called out to manybut few answer His callfew answer THIS CALL-He sends that still small voice to their heart and says...I want you to call them and just listen-they may never pick up the phone.Stop by their house-they may close the door.Send a note-you may never get a response.Call them again-pat them on the backhug themeven if they resist hugging you backdon't take it personal
this is not about youthis is about Metext them a song, or a poemsend them a picturewrite them a memorylet them know you miss her tootalk about hereven if it makes you uncomfortablepray for them...read scripture over their familyreally pray for themStop telling them what to dojust listen
I am calling youThey need youAre you willing?They have NOTHING to give you back.They will drain you,....but I want you to help them....are you willing?You will never get praiseor rewards on this side of HeavenNo one will know you are helping them but Me."
Being where I am today, having walked this road for some time, knowing I still feel this way at times, many times, I am also able to look back and remember. I am able to encourage others to remember these people who are not too far away from all the hustle and bustle. They sit silently in the shadows. They are hurting. Take time to pray for them. Ask God how you can help them. Listen to him. Answer his prompting, no matter what earthly response you get. Tell no one of your deeds....give God the glory, and allow yourself to be blessed in serving Christ.